i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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