CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
