everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
