Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
