Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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