I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
