DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
