Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
