I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
