I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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