awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
