brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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