I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
