I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
