you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
