i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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