Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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