I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize