I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
