I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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