Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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