I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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