I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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