This is not my ceiling
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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