I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
