whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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