Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
