Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
