yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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