My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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