u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
