i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
