Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
