thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
