How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
