that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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