piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
