Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
