two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
