There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
