Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
