yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
