we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
