none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
stop calling my apartment porn island.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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