She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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