You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
