Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
