i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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