Sry I called you an 8
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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