The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
