Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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