You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
