im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
