kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
