Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
