oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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