I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
