found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
