So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let the clothes fall where they may.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
